It feels
like a free fall……………….
On one
hand, there’s the sheer exhilaration that comes from taking a plunge into the
unknown and on the other hand, there’s the bone-chilling fear of becoming
another face that lies dead at the bottom of a pit. Such conflicting emotions
result in you becoming an insomniac who is typing out this piece at 5:00 am in
the morning when the rest of the world is sleeping (OK, technically not the
whole world but then this girl has always had a flair for the dramatic).
It’s been a
week since I’ve been done with my Engineering finals and in the coming week,
I’ll be done with my project submissions. The thought of the imminent end of my
college life makes me feel absolutely nothing. Four years back I’d imagined
that I’d be doing cartwheels and making merry at the thought of leaving Nanded.
Whereas at the beginning of this semester I’d imagined that I’d be a sobbing
mess during my last few days at college. The reality is far removed from all
that I imagined. I seem to have made it my mission to completely enjoy these
last few days. Every day begins with the tagline-“Aaj kuch toofani karte hain”.
But when all is said and done, I become blank and emotionless, thinking of the
few days that are left.
Initially
the idea of me not crying seemed incredulous because according to my family and
friends, I cry at the drop of a hat (See where I get the exaggeration from). No
amount of reminiscing seemed to bring out even a few rogue tears, let alone the
gut-wrenching cries I had envisioned.
Then, the
guilt started. The hostel farewell, departmental farewell and pajama parties were
all done and I hadn’t shed a single tear. This is not just me but a few other
girls too faced the same predicament. We tried singing a few of those evergreen
friendship songs, farewell songs-‘I’m really gonna miss this place, etc., etc.
aaaaaaaaand NOTHING. What made it more puzzling was the fact that there were
other girls AND guys who had gotten in touch with their emotional sides. Trust
me I felt like a heartless bitch (Pardon my French!!) with all this going
around. What a difficult time it was for me!!
All this
got me thinking and in a purely Eureka moment, I came up with a brilliant
theory to explain the tears, or in my case, the lack thereof. This theory is
one amongst my many other theories e.g.:
The 45 degree angle theory (I’ll explain this some other time)
So let’s
get to the topic at hand…..
Sruti’s
Theory Of A Shortage of Tears (T.O.A.S.T.) (Ummm….it’s 6:30 am and I guess I am hungry)
This theory states that any
person who is suffering from a shortage of tears with regards to the farewell
blues is doing so because of the following factors:
- She/he does not have a soul-mate/better half/Love of their Life (LOL) in the college. The lacks of such an emotional bond to the institution(A place where they first met and spent countless hours with their lover, battling numerous obstacles like the mamaji’s seeti and the frustrated gym wale sir) makes one a heartless person.
- One does not have unlimited access to considerable quantities of alcohol or is a teetotaler. Varying amounts of alcohol intake is said to make a person get in touch with his/her emotional side and bring out the tears.
I’d say
that remedying any of the above would be guaranteed to bring out the
waterworks. Though finding a soul-mate in the last 7 days seems a little
extreme. I’d like to recommend an onion instead. And then there are always the
Old Monks and the Royal Stags who (or which??) in the right amounts would make
you cry like a baby whilst keeping you conscious enough to remember the next
day(As quoted by a friend) which is a better alternative.
I can’t
stop marveling at the sheer brilliance of the theory even as I type this out.
It gives me immense pride to be the person to give hope to the many that were
living in the constant fear of their shriveled-up tear ducts and I’d like to thank
all the Much-in-love Couples and the Alcohol Connoisseurs in my college for
their valuable contribution towards the creation of the same.
As I sign
off (It’s 7:00 am I should finally get some sleep)…..I’d like to say…..shed
your tears wisely because like the Coldplay guys said, ”Every teardrop is a
waterfall” and I wouldn’t want to leave behind me, a flooded Nanded.
Oh I’m not
being cocky…….I’m just super-confident about the effectiveness of my theory :D
P.S.
Parental Guidance is NOT advised when eating….err… practicing Sruti’s
T.O.A.S.T. You’ll be left crying for reasons that have nothing to do with
leaving college :P
