Bus….bahut hua

        An inescapable part of living in Mumbai  is using the B.E.ST. buses and local trains. If I start hailing a rick every time I need to go somewhere, I might as well buy a chartered plane and get done with it (Buying a chartered plane is expensive-Auto rickshaws are expensive. You get it right?? :P ).
I’d like to clear the air….I’m not writing this as a rant on the poor conditions of public transport in Mumbai. No Sir…I, am going to tell you a story.

There was once a girl. She had just started working and in the essence of being all responsible and prudent about spending money, she decided she would travel only by B.E.S.T. buses. The distance between the girl’s home and office was very less by Mumbai standards. All she would have to do to follow her resolution was:

1. Walk from her house to the bus stop.
2. Wait for the bus.
3. Get on the bus.
4. Pay the fare (I think I’m stating the obvious here.)
5. Get off the bus.
6. Walk to her workplace.
7. Follow steps 6 to 1 (replacing to with from and vice-versa) in the evening.
8. Day=Day+1.
9. If not a weekend go to step 1.

I can explain it in a short, 9-step algorithm….that’s how simple it is…….
But when was simple going to appeal to our subject.

Ideally she should have googled the buses that would ferry her to and fro, noted the timings and happily continued with the rest of her life. But did she do the normal thing ???  No Sir, she had to think out of the box. I mean who thinks about being spontaneous while catching a bus?? Creating complications is not everyone’s cup of tea.

Now her  bus-stop was on the highway and she had to take a right turn at a junction a couple of stops away to reach office.  So she figured that since the aforementioned  junction was a typical one with a straight road and two turns, one right and one left, there was a 1/3rd probability that the next bus halting at her stop would take the right turn. So effectively, one in three buses would take her to her destination.

Armed with this piece of mathematical theory, she went along with her original plan. What she failed to grasp was that mathematical assumptions do not always coincide with reality and especially not in the case of B.E.S.T. But realization did hit her if only after two days :D.
So each time a bus stopped our leading lady would inquire if it would take her to XYZ (her destination). After a few embarrassing incidents (being told to get off the wrong bus, etc, etc) she was now pretty sure that buses going to A, B, C, D places would take her to XYZ. Keeping this in mind, she got into the bus heading for A one day.

This was the conversation that ensued.

Girl: Bhaiya XYZ ka ticket dena.
Conductor: Madam ye bus waha nahi jaati.
Girl: Par kal hi to mai A jaanewale bus me baithi thi…tab to wo gaadi XYZ jaati thi?? Ek din me   route badal gaya??
Conductor: Kya madam!!! Wo bus no. 123 tha ye bus no. 124 hai.

By now you’ve probably come to the conclusion that this entire conversation could’ve been avoided had the girl just remembered the bus numbers. But you should stop to think……
Would an independent, self-confident girl like her allow herself to do things the way mere mortals do??? Naah!!!!!! she would never let her destination be defined by a lowly 3-digit number.

What finally happened was that the girl was forced to get off at the junction and walk the rest of the way. Unfazed by this she told herself that the walk was a good exercise. This continued for some time. On some days she would get on the right bus, on the others she would get off the bus at the junction and march down to office.

Then one fine day, she had had enough. She was fed up with the uncertainties of life. So standing at the bus stop waiting for her bus, she took out her phone and googled the buses in her route. While our girl was mentally patting her back for nothing could stop her from boarding the right bus now , she thought she heard a bus halt at the stop. She looked up a few seconds later only to see the bus leaving  and to her utter dismay this one would have taken her to XYZ. So all the google search results went for a toss and she decided to just wing it when it came to buses.

Even today catching a bus is an everyday struggle for her. There are days when she’s waiting to cross the road to her bus-stop and she sees her bus drive by on the other side. Some days she is lucky to get the right bus and on the others, she walks from the junction. And there are days she’s too frustrated to wait for a bus and takes the easy way out and catches a rick. It’s a difficult world out there if you decide to be rebellious and not remember bus numbers. But that girl is still unyielding. She doesn’t give in to temptation and is a firm believer of her err….beliefs

You never know…the next time you are waiting for the bus you may see this girl and when you do, remember this story… and support her…… because she is the one and the only…… “The girl who didn’t know the bus number”…….

                                                                     FIN.

Every teardrop is a waterfall

It feels like a free fall……………….

On one hand, there’s the sheer exhilaration that comes from taking a plunge into the unknown and on the other hand, there’s the bone-chilling fear of becoming another face that lies dead at the bottom of a pit. Such conflicting emotions result in you becoming an insomniac who is typing out this piece at 5:00 am in the morning when the rest of the world is sleeping (OK, technically not the whole world but then this girl has always had a flair for the dramatic). 

It’s been a week since I’ve been done with my Engineering finals and in the coming week, I’ll be done with my project submissions. The thought of the imminent end of my college life makes me feel absolutely nothing. Four years back I’d imagined that I’d be doing cartwheels and making merry at the thought of leaving Nanded. Whereas at the beginning of this semester I’d imagined that I’d be a sobbing mess during my last few days at college. The reality is far removed from all that I imagined. I seem to have made it my mission to completely enjoy these last few days. Every day begins with the tagline-“Aaj kuch toofani karte hain”. But when all is said and done, I become blank and emotionless, thinking of the few days that are left.

Initially the idea of me not crying seemed incredulous because according to my family and friends, I cry at the drop of a hat (See where I get the exaggeration from). No amount of reminiscing seemed to bring out even a few rogue tears, let alone the gut-wrenching cries I had envisioned.

Then, the guilt started. The hostel farewell, departmental farewell and pajama parties were all done and I hadn’t shed a single tear. This is not just me but a few other girls too faced the same predicament. We tried singing a few of those evergreen friendship songs, farewell songs-‘I’m really gonna miss this place, etc., etc. aaaaaaaaand NOTHING. What made it more puzzling was the fact that there were other girls AND guys who had gotten in touch with their emotional sides. Trust me I felt like a heartless bitch (Pardon my French!!) with all this going around. What a difficult time it was for me!!

All this got me thinking and in a purely Eureka moment, I came up with a brilliant theory to explain the tears, or in my case, the lack thereof. This theory is one amongst my many other theories e.g.: The 45 degree angle theory (I’ll explain this some other time)

So let’s get to the topic at hand…..

Sruti’s Theory Of A Shortage of Tears (T.O.A.S.T.) (Ummm….it’s 6:30 am and I guess I am hungry)

                This theory states that any person who is suffering from a shortage of tears with regards to the farewell blues is doing so because of the following factors:

1.      She/he does not have a soul-mate/better half/Love of their Life (LOL) in the college. The lacks of such an emotional bond to the institution(A place where they  first met and spent countless hours with their lover, battling numerous obstacles like the mamaji’s  seeti  and the frustrated gym wale sir) makes one a heartless person.
2.           One does not have unlimited access to considerable quantities of alcohol or is a teetotaler. Varying amounts of alcohol intake is said to make a person get in touch with his/her emotional side and bring out the tears.

I’d say that remedying any of the above would be guaranteed to bring out the waterworks. Though finding a soul-mate in the last 7 days seems a little extreme. I’d like to recommend an onion instead. And then there are always the Old Monks and the Royal Stags who (or which??) in the right amounts would make you cry like a baby whilst keeping you conscious enough to remember the next day(As quoted by a friend) which is a better alternative.

I can’t stop marveling at the sheer brilliance of the theory even as I type this out. It gives me immense pride to be the person to give hope to the many that were living in the constant fear of their shriveled-up tear ducts and I’d like to thank all the Much-in-love Couples and the Alcohol Connoisseurs in my college for their valuable contribution towards the creation of the same.

As I sign off (It’s 7:00 am I should finally get some sleep)…..I’d like to say…..shed your tears wisely because like the Coldplay guys said, ”Every teardrop is a waterfall” and I wouldn’t want to leave behind me, a flooded Nanded.

Oh I’m not being cocky…….I’m just super-confident about the effectiveness of my theory :D

P.S. Parental Guidance is NOT advised when eating….err… practicing Sruti’s T.O.A.S.T. You’ll be left crying for reasons that have nothing to do with leaving college :P